What gets me through.

I tell myself without a doubt
Things between us would never work out

And for now that is what gets me through
Having these unwanted feelings for you

Cup of Joe.

You are the single brown ring on my white, wooden table, leaving a mark on pure innocence, and making sure everyone can see it.
I would like to hide this scar, but something tells me it would make sense for you to leave more stains.

It burns when you touch my lips and your warmth seeps through my teeth and into my whole body, but only momentarily.
Then all that is left is the bitter taste in my mouth.

You give me the shakes because I don’t know how to control my body, nor do I have the ability to control my mind.
I’m filled with many emotions, but I don’t know what to feel until I hit the dreaded caffeine crash.

Send my regards to your addicting, black poison.

And you know what’s funny?

I don’t even drink coffee.

Puzzle Pieces.

I thought it was perfect.

When we were trying to imagine our lives together, we wrote the words “I love you” on three random puzzle pieces, not paying attention to where we were writing because we were so blind.

Or maybe it was just me who was not paying attention.

But we quarreled and spatted and each time we tried fixing us, we saw that it would only fall apart again. And you finally had enough of it all and decided to walk away.

So one night when the tears would not stop flowing, I decided to open my box filled with memories of you and take out those three puzzle pieces.

That’s when I realized the puzzle pieces didn’t fit.

“No one knew that the green-eyed monster actually wore contacts so she could hide her jealousy and make her eyes sparkle a wonderful brown.”

I love to see you happy, but it also breaks my heart.

And it’s because I wish I knew I was one of the reasons that was making you smile.

5W1H.

Who would’ve thought that I’d end up in this situation.

What magic did you use to locate the strings of my heart and pluck them and make me melt?

When did your loud, awkward laugh suddenly become like music to my ears?

Where did these feelings even come from anyway?

Why did it have to be you of all people?

How can I stop myself from falling even deeper for you?

“She flashes the brightest smile in hopes that she can avert their gaze from the sadness in her eyes.”

When I was younger, I never found it in me to cut or to inflict any form of self-harm on my body.

And I still can’t stand to hold a knife or razor in my hand without the fear of my blood spilling over some trivial issue.

But it feels like my lovelorn words and precious sentiments are enough to cut my soul and make my heart bleed.

“So tonight I will wrap myself up in the blanket that makes me think of you because that’s as close as I’m gonna get to having you with me.”

I wish there were more guys like you.

You and your eloquent words…

You write like Shakespeare and Thoreau and every other famous poet in history. You write the way all girls want to be written to, because it seems like you write love letters even when you speak of tragedy. I have been told many times that I don’t need a man, but I cannot help but be enticed by all you say, probably because you aren’t afraid to show your emotions. Boys nowadays tend to run away from their feelings, turning around when you expect them to catch you yell out, “Trust fall!” Then again, I see you are not a boy, but a man; you are a man that writes novels of the soul.

But they say that writers are the most scarred. They say writers take their brokenness and twist the sad memories into something beautiful. They say writers are anything but perfect. But how can you be anything other than that? Your pen is like an oboe and the words on the paper are like notes on a score to my favorite lullaby. You are the sheer music that gives me peace and although my heart is cold, with you I am vulnerable because you make it so easy to open up to you. It’s so hard to find that kind of charisma in the world so, to me, you are perfection.

But I can’t have your perfection because there’s someone else. I hope that whoever has your heart will treat you well because you deserve nothing less. I hope that she loves you and that whoever else may come along will make you happy because I’m not sure I’m in the state to do that. But you seem fine with your life, so I only pray that you’ll continue to be content and hope that one day I’ll find someone more like you.