ah, but alas! i am looking but see not what my heart desires most! 

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When I was younger, I never found it in me to cut or to inflict any form of self-harm on my body.

And I still can’t stand to hold a knife or razor in my hand without the fear of my blood spilling over some trivial issue.

But it feels like my lovelorn words and precious sentiments are enough to cut my soul and make my heart bleed.