There is something important that you need to know:
Dealing with the past is inevitable. We should all have that idea carved in our heads by now.
But you know what’s not okay?
Letting the past consume your present, especially when you’re in a relationship or when you have a good amount of feelings for someone.
Yes, it can be hard to move on. I can attest to that myself. But it is something that we
Not only for you, but your partner as well.
Because while you sit around, moping about how “you’ve never loved another so much” or how “you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to feel the same way again,” you’re hurting the person you’re currently in a relationship with.
By saying this, you’re basically telling that person that she’s not good enough, and she will never compare to the one that you’ve loved before.
And that is NOT fair.
It’s like… DUH! Well of course she’s never going to be the same! She is her own unique person!
Love is supposed to be about chances and being open. So HOW do you expect to reap anything good from your relationship if you have instilled in your head the “perfect image” of what your love should be like?
That’s NOT how the world works.
Clearly, we are not perfect. Love does not start out perfect, and it will probably NEVER be perfect!
The point is that it takes time and growth. You have to stick it out with a person and find their flaws and accept them and actually communicate about the things that bother you.
If you keep holding on to your past relationship thinking that you’ll never find anything as good as it was when you were with that person, then…
Because you’re just going to keep bringing yourself down and bringing your significant other down because you have these sick thoughts floating around in the back of your head.
And I’m telling you…
Once you start bringing your past into the situation, your partner will start doing the same thing.
Now it’s not necessarily a bad thing. For example, you both could look back and realize that you both had your faults and now you’ve decided to take those lessons to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes.
But when you start comparing your current girlfriend or boyfriend to your ex…
They start wondering where they went wrong, when it wasn’t even their fault to begin with.
They start wondering if you even loved them.
They start wondering whether they’re even worthy of love in the first place.
And they’ll probably be scarred by this situation for quite some time because you fooled them into thinking that the connection you had was something that was right and true, when in reality, you just wanted to feel something, rather than pine for a lover long lost.
If you loved, you should be able to love again. If that one person had such a “positive impact” on your life, you should be able to spread that positivity and spread that love that they showed you, NOT hide it in the midst of your despair.
And I think that’s probably what still irritates me the most.
Because who knows? Maybe in time that person will return.
BUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Don’t let it hurt those around you.
And definitely don’t let it stop you from living.