Clarity.

It didn’t make sense to me; like the fact that you decided to buy fake glasses when all you need to do is update the prescription on your real ones.

But I understand.

You wanted a new look, to try something different, without the worries of committing to something so serious; a path that seems to go only one way.

And wanting to test the waters doesn’t make you a bad person.

Because in the past months, you have had the taste of sweet freedom.

And damn. Doesn’t it feel good to live for yourself?

As for me, I desired knowledge.

To feel so close, yet still somewhat disconnected, I wondered what was going on.

I wondered what could be, because I always wonder.

And that’s the thing about me: my curiosity about the world is what keeps me alive.

But it is also a hindrance because I know that curiosity killed the cat, & this cat overthinks & feels all too deeply.

But a cat has nine lives & I am not dead yet because I am meant to chase the mouse that is my dreams & I am very, very hungry.

And you also understand.

I am grateful that you aren’t going to take this conversation & walk out of my life because you feel uncomfortable.

I am grateful because, around you, I can be raw & unfiltered.

I am grateful because you are honest.

I am grateful because you remember the details about me that people usually pay no mind to.

I am grateful because you stimulate my mind & provide me with conversations that I wish could last forever.

I am grateful because you travel far & wide to see me.

I am grateful because you are always great company.

I am grateful, because all the care I’ve ever put into others, is now finally being reciprocated in the same dynamic.

And I’ll admit that it was confusing; I’ll admit I found it strange.

You’re different; you truly are a special one.

But you are just a friend, & if this is what friendship is, then the world needs more good-hearted people like you.

I am not mad, & never could be, for many reasons that I could list, but will refrain from doing, for that list would probably be excessive & disorderly.

But no matter to that.

I am blinded by love. Not for you in particular; I just naturally fall in love with all of my surroundings.

I try to see the good in everyone & everything.

And there is so much good in you.

Things were blurry, but now I have the lenses to see things clearly, & I could not be more content.

I could not be happier to be so blessed with such a close friend near & dear to my heart in the time that we’ve spent together.

So thank you, for being a weirdo in your own right (although you disagree), because I’m a weirdo too & I think that makes our friendship all the more better.

I hope this lasts a lifetime.

Thank you, for giving me clarity. 

“I believe in you so much                                                                                                                         I could die for the words that you say

But I believe in you so much                                                                                                                 I could die from the words that you say”

 

–  @AdamGoesHam via Twitter

Tibetan Sand Mandala.

Not a day goes by where she passes by the place where they have stood & she cannot help but feel some spiritual feeling inside her.

For on everything he touches, he leaves a mark. Her bed sheets still smell like him.

But he is like a Tibetan Sand Mandala; artwork created then destroyed.

He gave her sacred space, but he is gone now, into the water, following the transitory path of life.

So she stands in that spot where he once stood with her, & she can only close her eyes & remember the ceremony that happened there.

Alone, but not Quite Lonesome.

I look forward to the days when I’ll have a love that plays out like the movies.

You know, the kind where he’s driving on a cliff-side road with a view of the ocean, and the windows are rolled down and we’re laughing as the wind blows through our hair.

And we’ll keep riding until we get to the secret spot we’ve decided to make our own.

We’ll have lunch picnics there and I’ll probably punch him for trying to jump out at me from behind the bushes.

We’ll take hikes and scenic walks.

Or maybe we’ll come back at night just to look at the stars.

There will be just enough trees to create a picture frame of the sky, and we will be our own visionary art, dancing in the dark.

A hideaway, a chance to catch some privacy.

A chance to be.

Yet as I sigh the sigh of a hopeless romantic waiting for this day, I venture by myself to this place that I will share with my ‘soulmate’ and I feel as if I’ve found my home.

My toes dig into the dirt and for some reason, it’s okay that it’s just me, myself, and I.

It’s okay that I’m alone, because I’m not lonely.

In fact, in this time and place, in my own company, I have never felt more full.

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via Daily Prompt: Privacy