It didn’t make sense to me; like the fact that you decided to buy fake glasses when all you need to do is update the prescription on your real ones.
But I understand.
You wanted a new look, to try something different, without the worries of committing to something so serious; a path that seems to go only one way.
And wanting to test the waters doesn’t make you a bad person.
Because in the past months, you have had the taste of sweet freedom.
And damn. Doesn’t it feel good to live for yourself?
As for me, I desired knowledge.
To feel so close, yet still somewhat disconnected, I wondered what was going on.
I wondered what could be, because I always wonder.
And that’s the thing about me: my curiosity about the world is what keeps me alive.
But it is also a hindrance because I know that curiosity killed the cat, & this cat overthinks & feels all too deeply.
But a cat has nine lives & I am not dead yet because I am meant to chase the mouse that is my dreams & I am very, very hungry.
And you also understand.
I am grateful that you aren’t going to take this conversation & walk out of my life because you feel uncomfortable.
I am grateful because, around you, I can be raw & unfiltered.
I am grateful because you are honest.
I am grateful because you remember the details about me that people usually pay no mind to.
I am grateful because you stimulate my mind & provide me with conversations that I wish could last forever.
I am grateful because you travel far & wide to see me.
I am grateful because you are always great company.
I am grateful, because all the care I’ve ever put into others, is now finally being reciprocated in the same dynamic.
And I’ll admit that it was confusing; I’ll admit I found it strange.
You’re different; you truly are a special one.
But you are just a friend, & if this is what friendship is, then the world needs more good-hearted people like you.
I am not mad, & never could be, for many reasons that I could list, but will refrain from doing, for that list would probably be excessive & disorderly.
But no matter to that.
I am blinded by love. Not for you in particular; I just naturally fall in love with all of my surroundings.
I try to see the good in everyone & everything.
And there is so much good in you.
Things were blurry, but now I have the lenses to see things clearly, & I could not be more content.
I could not be happier to be so blessed with such a close friend near & dear to my heart in the time that we’ve spent together.
So thank you, for being a weirdo in your own right (although you disagree), because I’m a weirdo too & I think that makes our friendship all the more better.
I hope this lasts a lifetime.
Thank you, for giving me clarity.